Is It Worth It?

Sure, I’ve lain with love.

I’ve enjoyed sweet moments and smiled with love.
Yes. Yes, I’ve snuggled up in the bed with love.
But is it worth it?
Come to find that soon – inevitably – after cuddling up with love you’ll one day find yourself sleeping
…with pain.

Pain.

Is it worth it?

(Question for you,)Love, are you worth it? Are you worth the tug in my chest? The sharp tug in my chest. Are you worth my tears. Are you worth the stress. Because I’ve yet to find my happy ending; my happily-ever –after, that which I keep reading in everyone else’s stories.

See
I’m stress-free
I’m bump-free
I’m happy
and smiling, all by my lonesome. But there’s something I keep witnessing in their eyes. A spark. A glimmer. A shine. And I’m jalou for it. Jealous. Envious. So when you come knocking, I open my door. And each time I say to myself, This is it. This is my happy ending.
No, never looking for a knight in shinning armor, but I’ve yet to find a MAN.

A man.
God-fearing, and unafraid of intimate affection. A man. Who is teaching, and loving, and giving.
Worth having.
No, instead, I keep attracting sorry-excuses. Seems I’m a magnet for brothahs who wanna Be. But never will. Because their own lack of true will. And my heart is tired.

Tired.
So tired of…happy beginnings and ugly endings. Weary of the introduction, climax, and the tragic endings. So perhaps I’ll remix it. Perhaps with the next, I’ll begin with the tragedy and work my way to a happy ending.

Perhaps…

By: Dorlette Pierre-Louis